So anyhow, yesterday I was about to go for a walk, and felt like smoking a cigar on my stroll. I put on my best three-piece brown town suit, fitted a brown bowler hat upon my head, and popped open the humidor. Not knowing what was in store for me, I pulled out one of these JR Alternatives and lit it up. Wait, let's rewind a bit and talk about what this thing looked like. It had a pale wrapper, perhaps a Connecticut leaf, that was splotchy and veiny. There were some dark lines here and there that made it look as if the leaf had been creased and then pressed out again, and the texture was rather rough and dry. Small imperfections littered the cigar: holes, knobs, scrapes, and so forth. Plus, the cigar felt rather lumpy. There were a few places beneath the wrapper where it seemed to rather cave in. The unlit stick smelled quite strongly of compost and wet grass, which isn't always bad, but in this case didn't seem very appetizing.
I wouldn't give up, however. I lit it up, and was immediately rewarded with a smell not unlike burning cardboard. As it smoked, it did burn rather evenly, though I have no idea how. When the mold-grey ash was tapped off, it revealed an uneven roll with some unattractive hollow spots.
The flavor overall was not enjoyable, either. Overwhelmingly spicy at first, with the sort of acidic feel that works its way all the way down your throat and up the backs of your nostrils. I was not enjoying that. There was also an element of sourness that I didn't enjoy much. Overall it was a chore to smoke this cigar, and I put it out just about at the halfway point, hoping for it to improve.
In closing, while I'm very grateful that Jesse gave me some cigars, I'm fairly certain his tastebuds (and mine) would be better off spending sixty bucks on forty cigars than vice versa. I'm going to give this cigar one star, because it did light on fire, and that's pretty much the first thing you can ask for in a rolled up lump of tobacco. Sorry, Jesse!